On the road again

Today we embark on our epic 10 state road trip. The excitement is high, the car is packed to the gills, the movies are ready, the iPad is charged, and the kids have NOOO idea how long they will be in the car. However Mom and Dad do and are trying to be mentally prepared for the inevitable whining and fighting that will ensue. But we are also so excited to make these memories and build relationships. This is THE trip that our family will talk about for years! We will be blogging regularly as we go along. The older boys will help with the blogging as well. This is the journal for our epic road trip.  Nauvoo or bust!

Give me a break

Two weeks ago my 14 year old son gave me a scathing review as a Mom. He told me I have been acting super annoyed with them lately and yelling a lot, he said, "Sometimes you act like you don't want us around." It was not a proud Mom moment because I do greatly enjoy being with my kids and want them to feel that I do.

I had to agree with him, so I started to think of why I have been so easily annoyed. We moved. That says enough right?  Moving is supposedly one of the top ten most stressful life events. We lived in that home for 10 years and moving 7 people and all their stuff isn't easy. 

I also severely broke  my toe 5 days before we moved. I was frustrated and in a lot of pain. I also got really sick the week after we moved and literally didn't sleep for 5 nights because of a horrible cough. 

Stress, pain, no sleep and sickness are not a good combination for a happy, patient Mom. Fortunately in spite of my frustration I had an encouraging thought in my head that said, "You had a bad few weeks, it doesn't mean you're a bad Mom, give yourself a break."  

Now I don't want to use my hardships as an excuse for poor behavior, but I do think that sometimes as Mothers we need to allow ourselves to be human and make mistakes.  We need to not beat ourselves up for a bad moment or week or month. I have apologized to my kids and husband and we are moving on, not perfect but improving.

However,  I also was reminded by this conversation that my behavior is my choice. I can let it be dictated by my circumstances or I can choose to rise above them and be patient and loving. It has to be a very conscious choice because it is much harder to be patient than to blow up and lose it.  However my relationship with my children is extremely important for me to preserve and build up. I also feel strongly that how I behave in difficult circumstances teaches my kids how to react to hardships they will undoubtedly have in their lives. I can choose to find joy in my circumstances or I can let the happiness and joy be sucked from my life due to difficulties.

I was recently inspired by this article by a Mom who made the conscious choice to stop yelling. She admits her personality is fiery and she has a temper, but she says her children do not remember her as a yelling Mom because she chose many years ago to not yell. She admits she isn't perfect but works hard at it. 

So I am working on it. I won't say I'll never yell again but I am making a choice and commitment to improve my behavior and patience and in turn I am certain my children's behavior and patience will improve.

Ordinary day

This is the progress on my toe. The pain has lessened by 80%, the bruising is taking forever to heal. But I am functioning fine with it, thank goodness!

Emma draws pictures all the time. We go through paper like nobody's business. She wanted a picture of me holding this so I could put it on "endstagrand". 

Mud pie making. So dirty, but keeps them entertained for hours.

Scout camp is next week and I think someone is excited. He's already getting his pack ready. 

This guy spent hours on the computer getting his prerequisites done for his merit badges. Those badges don't come easy and both boys are working hard before camp so they can earn those badges. Nathan is close to getting his Eagle!

And Monday is always a big laundry day at our house. I don't get it all complete but try to get the majority knocked out this one day. I really don't mind laundry cycling or even folding it, it's the putting away that is my vice!

This week we get to swim a couple of days, yippee! I can sit in the shallow end  with a waterproof bag on my foot. Thank goodness for good friends with pools!

Ordinary days

One of my favorite bloggers, Sarah from Clover Lane does a regular post called Ordinary Days,  I love Sarah's posts so I decided to adopt it myself. Her posts are inspired by this book that I have been reading. I love Katrina Kenison's writing. The purpose is to not just celebrate the momentous occasions, but the everyday moments that really make up our lives. So I present my first ordinary days post, which will happen each Monday.

Lots of water play has been happening. It has been HOT, like close to 120! We are having to get creative to keep busy and not go insane!

Two weeks ago I got into a fight with the laundry room door....and the door won! I severely broke my toe and will be in this lovely shoe for 6-8 weeks! It was extremely painful the first week, but is improving daily. It happened the week we were MOVING...seriously so inconvenient! One of the worst parts is they told me I can't swim with this! That is really bad news here in the heat of the summer! 

Because of the toe, my abilities to finish up packing were seriously limited! Fortunately I had done a lot before this week. But these dear angel friends from my church came and packed up my kitchen. What a blessing!

For the past 10 years this has been a regular occurrence. We had fantastic neighbors and Dave and Kyle are great buddies. They talked over the fence regularly while working outside or barbecuing (I always thought of time Taylor and Wilson from Home Improvement). We miss them.

Here is our last family photo in front of our home of 10 years. I love that home, we moved in with 2 little ones and grew by 3 more kids (an LOTS more stuff!). I've been very nostalgic and a bit emotional as we have moved on. We know it's the  right thing for our family but that home holds so many memories. 

I love ordinary days, but need to get more creative keeping children busy not relating to screens!

I am blogging using the Blogger app on my phone. I hope it works out because it would be convenient while traveling!

What are your go to summer activities?

My kid's Dad is the greatest guy....

Above is my favorite picture of a Dad of all time.  This is when my son was less than a week old.  He was 8 weeks early and we couldn't hold him for 3-4 days due to his immature nervous system.  My husband made sure I held him first for 10 minutes and that was all he could handle that day, this was the following day, the first day Daddy held him.

My husband has always been an involved Daddy.  However with most of our newborns, it was really up to me to care for them (especially in the night...I was breastfeeding so he couldn't do much).  That was fine with me because I LOVE newborns. Newborns aren't really his "thing", he absolutely loved our babies, but liked them much more as they got old enough to play with.

However with our 5th baby things were different.  They had to be, I had some health issues after birth that didn't resolve quickly like we were hoping they would.  If I didn't get sleep, they were significantly worse.  This baby of ours was not easy.  He had an apnea monitor which LOUDLY let us know if he wasn't breathing.  Plus our #5 had terrible acid reflux even with medication.  He would arch his back and stop breathing when it happened.  He was very fussy and the only place he liked to sleep is propped up on Mommy or Daddy's chest.  So for MONTHS my husband slept propped up on the recliner with a baby boy on his chest.  He never complained, he just did what had to be done.  He got up and went to work and provided for our family.  He came home and often had to cook dinner, bathe children and put them to bed because I was too exhausted and/or was dealing with a fussy baby.

That period of time 3 years ago showed me my husband's greatness.  It proved that he was willing to sacrifice whatever it took for his kids (and for me).  I know he was exhausted in every way, but he still did it.  He is one amazing Father to our kids and they are so lucky to have him, they don't even realize it  yet.  I am so incredibly lucky to have him in my life and sometimes I forget how blessed I am too.

Happy Father's Day to all of you men who sacrifice time, sleep, money and yourselves to provide and protect and nurture your families. You make our world a better place, in fact our world would be so different if more men were willing to be a little less selfish and sacrifice for the good of their families.

It's a cruel, cruel summer....

My kids get out of school tomorrow (can I hear a HALLELUJAH for no more driving 30 minutes one way to school!  Next year we will live across the street from the school) and I know a lot of other kids are already out of school.  So what are your plans this summer??  There are some great ideas out there on the "net" so I thought I would put a post together to have a bunch all in one place.

This post on Power of Moms, has a TON of links and ideas
Possibly my favorite idea for this summer 7 Steps to beat summertime whining
Recipes for sidewalk chalk, paint, bubbles etc
The "Mom I'm bored jar"
Ideas for a summer schedule 
Another idea for a summer schedule
A great blog about creating adventures for your kids (LOTS of fun boy ideas)
Shawni of 71 toes  (one of my favorite blogs)has a whole blog post with a lot of great ideas

There's some things to get you started.  There are a TON of ideas on Pinterest.  We had a talk tonight with our kids for their input on our expectations/rules/limits on screens/jobs etc...for this summer.  I think if they have input they will buy into it more easily.  We are writing up summer contracts with expectations all spelled out beforehand so the contract gets to be the bad guy, not us.  They are each setting goals in 3 areas, physical, mental and spiritual.  They will all read every day and maybe occasionally do worksheets etc. (I don't do a lot of structured academic time during the summer as I don't want to battle it...not to say we don't learn anything, but it's much more hands on).

This summer I'm teaching my older boys how to do their laundry and iron.  My 3 oldest boys will all help plan and cook a dinner once a week as well.  It's called Life Prep 101 around here :)

Oh yeah...plus we are moving.  So that will throw a wrench into my well laid plans, but at least we are trying and at least they won't be staring at a screen 24/7 and really turn their minds to mush.

What are your best summer ideas?  Any great websites I have missed??  Please share!

Best Motherhood advice I've ever received....

this adorable little 2 year old girl......is now almost 6!  

I thought I was so prepared for Motherhood.  I was the youngest of 7 children who became an Aunt at age 8, my nieces and nephews were more like my siblings.  I started babysitting very young and I loved being around children.  I majored in Family and Human Development with an emphasis in early childhood.  I just knew I was going to be a well prepared, fantastic Mother.

Then my first son was born.  He was colicky, he didn’t sleep and I was exhausted in every way.  I remember talking to my Mom and being so upset that I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, that he wasn’t the happy, content baby that I thought I would have. That I wasn’t the great Mom I thought I would be.   My Mom said 4 words that have become my Motherhood mantra…”This too shall pass.” 

It bothered me back then, because I felt like she was discounting my pain and frustration.  But what I have come to find out is she wasn’t discounting anything, she was trying to give me the gift of PERSPECTIVE.  You see she had 7 children, she knew that some babies fuss more than others, that some sleep better, that some are content and happy and some are not.   I wish I could go back 14 years and tell myself to listen to this nugget of wisdom because it’s the best advice ever.

She knew a secret, that for the most part this too shall pass.  (I realize that some things do not pass, some babies have special needs for example that aren’t going to pass no matter how much time passes, my heart aches for them.) But for the most part in a healthy baby, hard phases and stages pass on.   

Fussy, colicky baby?  Yep passed.  Toddler who wouldn’t leave my side to go to nursery or a babysitter? Passed.  Horrible reflux and severe lactose allergy (that cost us a pretty penny in specialized formula)?  Passed.  The terrible twos/threes? Passed. A boy who was a monkey and made my heart stop with his climbing antics and no fear?  Passed. A child who is terrified of the toilet? Passed.  A preemie in the hospital for 6 weeks? Passed.

But on the flip side….. Newborn baby who snuggles right into your neck and smells amazing?  Passed.  First steps and first words? Passed.  First time my baby belly laughed?  Passed.  Sleeping with a newborn on your chest?  Passed.   A baby all snuggled up after a bath in their hooded towel where just their eyes and smile show?  Passed.  My daughter saying I YUV YOU Mommy! (now she says her L's). Passed.

My baby is 3.  My oldest baby is 14.  I know it’s so cliché, but time FLIES!  Hard stages come with every age.  Some days I wish I could  trade in a grouchy teen for a colicky baby.  Some days I would trade in some experiences my son is having in middle school for when he was a biter and bit nearly every child in the nursery at church.   Those hard phases will pass, but so will the sweet phases where they say words a certain way (like ornange or hangurber) or want to hold your hand on a walk. Honestly I don't think Motherhood gets easier as they get older...it just is different.

The beauty of “This too shall pass” is that it helps those phases not seem quite so tragic or eternal.  Some days we just have to grit our teeth and wait it out.  However, some days I really can smile at my 3 year old throwing a fit over not being able to buckle his own car seat because I know soon enough he will master it and it will mean one more way he is becoming independent of me.  I realize that is my job to teach them not to need me, but man it’s hard. 

So next time your frustration, or exhaustion or anger about something your child is doing or going through gets the best of you think, “This too shall pass” and see if maybe it just doesn’t give you a little perspective.

What is the best Motherhood advice you've gotten?