Saturday, January 24, 2015

Oh yeah...ME TOO!

(I have no idea why my text is all messed up with white background on part of this post.  I'm done trying to figure it out.)

The other day I was scrolling through facebook when a friend of mine asked this question:

"Ok, just out of curiosity, has anyone had a home energy report that was efficient? Or close to your neighbors? Both our Questar and Rocky Mountain Power energy reports are like off the charts. It's like crazy bad."

I said, "ME TOO! This happens to us every month!"  This question caught my eye because every single month on our power bill it states that we have used the most energy of anyone in our neighborhood and tells us we need to do better at conserving energy.  It makes zero sense that we use the most, we have one of the smaller homes in our neighborhood.  But every month it makes me feel a little bit guilty.  However from the other comments on my friend's post, it seems like almost EVERYONE else also gets this notice that they use the most power in their neighborhood. Apparently the power company likes to make everyone feel bad about their power use too ;).  It sounds totally silly, but seeing others comment that they also get this notice made me feel 100 times better.

I have been thinking about this over the last couple of days.  Why did reading that other people get the notice too make me feel so much better?  I know it's because I realized I wasn't the only one, I felt validated. So if something as trivial as knowing others felt this way about  a power bill,  how much more impactful is it when we truly open ourselves up and share the hard stuff?

Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social media show us snapshots of everyone's highlight reel.  Rarely do we see the hard, messy, real part of life.  We don't open ourselves up to that, I for one am a bit afraid of what others might think if they see it or know about it, I don't open myself up to many people very often.

However,  vulnerability and  sharing the real stuff can not only help us, but it can help other people realize they aren't alone!  We don't have to be negative about life to do this, but we can share the reality of life with each other.

So I am about to get real here and share a few things that are going on with me.  If you feel so inclined, share some of your messy life as well.  

So here are a few things I am struggling with right now:

  • One of my children is not being included socially by his so called friends.   Deep down I think I  knew  it was happening but tonight I saw it with undeniable proof when I saw the entire group together and nobody had thought to include my son.  It breaks my Mommy heart and I don't know that there is anything I can do about it.
  • I have so much going on in my life and in my brain and  I have forgotten many things recently (it doesn't help that my phone loses appointments I have put in it).  I appear to be a total flake sometimes.
  • My house is disorganized and messy much of the time.  Our kitchen, closet space and bedrooms are a fraction of the size we came from in Vegas.  If someone shows up at my house unexpected I am embarrassed....when I know someone is coming I clean  like a crazy lady. 
  • Money is really tight, I am looking for a job or a way to earn some more money.  I want to find something to do from home so I don't have to leave my 4 year old with a babysitter.  Kids are more expensive the older they get and I see the future with missions, college and weddings and feel great anxiety.
  • I miss my community of friends in Vegas.  I miss them terribly.  It's been a year and I think I miss them more than I did a year ago.  I miss that my ward was my family.  I feel like those friends really know who I am, they love me and my family for who we really are.  I know it takes time to build those relationships (we lived in Vegas for 12 years), but it doesn't mean my heart doesn't ache for that even a year later. We went to visit last week and it was wonderful to see them, but it made all of us miss our "framily" even more.  

So there you go, some of the not so picturesque moments in my life that I don't open up and share with very many people.

 What are you worried about?  What plays over and over in your brain?  Do you ever feel like you aren't enough as a woman, wife or mother?  Do you worry for your kids (of course you do, we all do!)  Do you think your life isn't as good as others?  Do you worry what people will think of you if you are vulnerable?

I have been pondering this for a couple of days.  I don't have any answers but I do know when others share their heart with me it makes me feel so good... 1. that they would share with me and 2. it usually helps me feel better about my life as well.

So what do you say we share more of real life with other people?  

Monday, January 12, 2015

Riverton Retreat

On January 10th, I co-presented at a Power of Moms mini-retreat in Riverton, UT with a great group of women.  We had about 25 in attendance and it was a wonderful morning.  We talked about Family Systems, which are based on 3 systems that all successful companies and organizations have. So we scale those down a bit and apply them to families. They are a family economy (work and money), family legal system (rules and consequences) and a family culture (traditions, love rituals...basically the glue that holds families together).

Here are my amazing co-trainers Lacy (on the left), me and Mandy (on the right).  We worked really well together.  Basically as trainers we are discussion facilitators.  I love hearing the comments and small group discussions these women have.

We had fantastic discussions with this group of amazing, deliberate Mothers.  I really think if we had enough time with these groups of Moms that come to retreats we could solve so many of the world's problems :).  

Some of my big take aways from this retreat are to have positive assumptions about my kids, have a "chef's helper" every night for dinner to divide up dinner responsibilities and to better teach my kids how to cook, work on teaching generosity with money, "brand" our family better (by that I mean create more things to have a stronger family identity), work with my husband on infusing our home with more a positive atmosphere. I remembered so many positive tools that I haven't used for a while, man I love these retreats.

I love these retreats, I have been to 5 or 6  at this point and even though the content is the same with each, I learn something new every time.  It refocuses me and helps me set new goals for our family.  We had a great time, we laughed a lot and I feel like I have new friends.  Thanks to those who came and made it so great!