Bloggin, schnogging...

I am finding a hard time being motivated in blogging. Part of it is, there is a big blog post I need and want to write, but I want to do it right and I'm nervous about communicating it well, so I sit in front of the computer and start writing and get writer's block.  I think I have about 5 drafts of it.   This is not that post.  Here is my attempt to get back into it. Don't expect much because I'm getting back into it sloooooowly.

I have lived away from a real Autumn season for 13 years.  (I know I have Vegas friends who claim Vegas has fall, you need to come to Utah for September and October and experience it for reals).  I.AM.IN.LOVE.  Wow it's beautiful.  Love the vibrant yellows, oranges and REDS (reds are my favorite). I love the smell of fall,  love the slight chill in the air, love the crunchy leaves on the ground.  I have always claimed that spring was my favorite season...I think fall is tied for the favorite now.  We have been to the mountains a few times recently, we have gone on drives and on a hike.  Absolutely breathtaking!

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Since we moved here I have been looking for a part time job to supplement the family budget.  A friend of mine started selling Younique makeup and encouraged me to look into.  I blew it off for a bit because I did NOT want to do direct sales.  It's not really me, but the more I looked into it and the more I prayed about it, the more I knew it was just what I was looking for.  I do it all from my computer or phone on my time and schedule.  The investment was minimal and Younique is a great company based on great values.  So I took the plunge and did it.  It has been a huge blessing for our family, plus it is fun!  

Here are my before and after photos, top is with my regular mascara, bottom is with the Younique 3D mascara.  It is a product that says what it will do.  The other cosmetics they sell are fantastic too.   I promise I won't get all sales pitchy on here, but it is a big part of what I'm doing these days.  If you want to host an online party or want to check out the products my website it:

www.cheringlashlove.com

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Does anyone else get overwhelmed when watching all the scary stuff on the internet?  ISIS, Ebola etc etc.  I have been having horrible dreams lately and I'm sure it's from hearing about all this negative.  How do you combat it?  How do you stay informed without being consumed with worry?  

These 6 people along with our extended family mean the world to me and their well being, safety and healthy is so important to me, so I can't help myself sometimes.  

However when I immerse myself in God's word and put my trust in Him it helps my anxiety greatly.  Here's a recent scripture I came across in my study recently in Doctrine and Covenants chapter 6 verses 34 and 36.  I need to plaster it everywhere, so I remember it!

 Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail.

Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.

Come on Mom..

My kids start school on Wednesday. We have had a great summer, but today I wanted to do one more big "hurrah". We have passes to a couple of local water parks and so this afternoon we drove to one we hadn't been to all summer. It was so much fun to play together as a family.

To be perfectly frank I really do not like the water park. I don't like donning a swimsuit, I don't like the crowds, I'm not a fan of the big huge fast slides. BUT....I really really love my kids. They love going to these parks A LOT, so I go and I do have fun once we are there. You know, I don't really even think of myself in the swimsuit once we are there because guess what? This isn't about me, this is about them.

I spent much of my time in the kiddie area today with my 6 and 4 year old while my husband was with my older boys on the big slides, which is just fine by me.  I was having fun watching them go down some small slides when my daughter said, "Come on Mom and go with us!" I hesitated because not many parents were going. But I went and my two littles couldn't have been more delighted, their faces just lit up when I went down after them.  We went over and over again and laughed and laughed.

Playing and laughing with them and with my older kids and husband (as we did venture on some of the bigger slides with them) was medicine for my soul.  I need to play and laugh more with them.  There was no bickering, no impatience, it was just plain fun.  It's an investment into our relationship account so when things are tough there is enough invested when a withdrawal happens. I need to remember that having FUN is a secret ingredient to a happy Mom and happy kids.  And I need to just get in the water and go down the slides...figuratively speaking.  

Mini retreat

This post will be a bit boring because I forgot to take any pictures during this mini retreat.  This was my first retreat where I was in charge of all the details, and I forgot the picture detail.  I think I covered the rest of the details, so that's pretty good for my first time right?  I wasn't super nervous for teaching, I was nervous that I had all the details taken care of (that isn't necessarily my strength), but it worked out.

I had a great co-presenter in Lacy Anderson, this was her first retreat being a presenter.  She did amazing and is a natural teacher.  Thanks Lacy, you made it easy to do this with you!

We had a small group for the retreat, 13 total.  But it was actually really nice that it was small.  Lots of participation and we could talk about specific questions and be more personal.  The group we had was a really wonderful group of Moms who gave fantastic insights and participated so much.  Thank you ladies for being so great!

Some of my favorite insights from the retreat were:

• You will always have people who disagree with the choices you make in parenting.  You must get to the point where you are at peace with your choices and who you are and just thank them for input and let it go.
• What is unique about you?  Write it down, come up with POSITIVE unique things about yourself and celebrate and develop those.  Develop YOU so you have more to give to your kids.
• Find out what your "motherhood identity" is. Create your own "brand" of motherhood and become comfortable with that.  What do you think of when you think of Nike or Coke?  That is their brand, develop that for yourself.
• Write a motherhood "mantra".  If someone were to ask what you believe about motherhood or something you believe in, you could "sell" your brand in a couple of short sentences.
• Write a mantra about how you want to mother, one participant's mantra is, "Be kind, cherish the moments and love them."  Simple, yet a good reminder of what she wants to be as a Mother.
• Validate yourself, when you do something well pat yourself on the back (or the tush like athletes) and say, "Good job me! or Good game!"  Heaven knows our kids don't validate us, we need to do it for ourselves.  Write it down, give yourself kudos for doing a great job!
• Avoid the compare snare, be careful of social media.  Your children want you!
• Balance can be an unattainable goal, learn to "tilt" instead.  Sometimes you are tilting toward a newborn baby, sometimes you are tilting toward sick children or a difficult teen or a school carnival you are in charge of.  The goal is balance for a lifetime, not balance for a day or a week.

I love these retreats, no matter if I'm an attendee or a presenter, I learn so much and get so recharged.  It was a great night with amazing Moms.  We figured there were 45+ kids represented there with these Moms and the ripple effect can be huge if even one thing these women learn is implemented and makes them better Moms.  I'm so grateful for the Power of Moms organization and all they are doing to strengthen families.

You are invited....

Back in this post I talked about fulfilling my dream as a Power of Moms trainer.  I went to Albuquerque (even learned how to spell it) in March and had a fantastic opportunity to present at a retreat.  I loved  every minute of it.  You can read here about how these retreats have impacted our family greatly.

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Me with Tiffany Sowby as a presenter in ABQ

Me with April Perry, co-founder of Power of Moms and Tiffany 

at the Vegas retreat in 2013

Some photos of an all day retreat.  A lot of interaction and discussion happens

at these events.

Now I am excited to begin holding "mini retreats" with the same information presented in all day retreats just broken down into 2-3 hour evening or Saturday morning classes.  Many Moms have a hard time taking an entire day away from their families.  This will perhaps allow more women to attend and get this valuable information and experience of gathering with other like minded, deliberate Mothers.  

The first mini retreat I will be presenting at (with another POM trainer) will be held on August 1st in the Salt Lake area. We will be talking about finding peace, purpose and joy in Motherhood.  I promise there will be much support, interaction and discussion.  You will come away feeling uplifted and empowered.  If you are interested in attending, or hosting one of these events, please let me know.  I would love to have you attend or teach one in your home with your friends/family.

Summer lovin

Summer vacation has been in full swing for several weeks now. I have conflicted feelings about summertime. I love having my kids around and the slower pace, but it is also hard to get my stuff done and I also want to help my kids be productive and content. In the past I have stressed about that. 

The past couple of weeks though I have decided to relax about it a bit. Yes we have days that have a lot of this going on:

But we also have lots of things like this: 

And this: 

Once or twice a week we have a Mommy adventure where we get out and explore and go to museums or hikes or swimming or the water park. I enjoy these days and love spending time with my kids. My oldest is 15 and in THREE short years he will be off to college or on a mission. I'm lucky he still likes to go on these adventures with us. The other days are spent at home or closer to home so I can get things done. My kids can find friends or do other things. I don't think it is my job to entertain them. 

I remember as a kid that most days I was riding my purple banana seat bike in my swim suit with a towel around my neck, to the local swim club (pictured above). I was meeting friends there and spending the day. My Mom didn't entertain me or plan grand adventures. My Mom certainly spent time with me and a couple of times during the summer we would do something big like an amusement park. Life is so different now, we feel like we have to have grand plans for our kids in the summer or we feel like a bad parent. I have seen online where people are saying their kids said the "B" word...bored. I don't think it's bad for kids to be bored. They need to learn to find things to do and be creative.

We aren't going on a big summer vacation. We are going up to a family cabin in August for a few days, and maybe a camping trip, but mostly we will be at home. 

Here are our summer job charts, we have a rule of no screens until after lunch. They have a few jobs that include practicing piano, for the younger kids they do some reading and math practice, their daily kitchen job, a couple of jobs that take about 10-15 minutes, their bedroom, working on scouting etc. My two older boys are doing their own laundry and helping plan and prepare a meal once a week. 

My older kids have had several opportunities to work for other people and earn some money which has been so great. I love that they are learning the value of work and money and learning to work for another boss besides me and my husband. 

Our family project this summer is this garden. The garden deserves a post of it's own, but suffice it to say it is a way to teach work and unity. It's not always pretty when we go and the kids are weeding and irrigating, almost always there is heavy complaining. However, that doesn't mean it isn't still teaching them and it's still worth it. 

So if my kids have a day here and there when they play screens for a few hours at a time I'm not going to stress. We are having a lot of fun together. They are learning to work hard and accomplishing good things daily. They are learning life skills that will serve them well in the future. 

Still to do this  summer:

Lemonade stand

Liberty park

Hiking and fishing

Bowling

Fourth of July!! (My favorite holiday next to Christmas)

Lagoon

Natural history museum

Fitted sheets and lullabies

Last night was filled with multiple awakenings by a sad, sick 4 year old child and empty of any quality sleep. Every 15 minutes I was desperately needed by this boy who was scared to death at  the intensity of his illness.

 

The morning after a night like that always tests me and pushes my body to its limits. Of course there were multiple loads of sheets and towels and pajamas to launder. As I yawned and folded yet another fitted sheet I realized that my skills at folding fitted sheets are subpar.

 

My Mother certainly tried to teach me how to fold them neatly; hospital corners were expected in the making of a bed in my growing up home. My Mother is an amazing organizer and has neatness woven into her character. I missed out on that gene somehow. . The skill of somehow managing to control those rounded corners into a tidy pile of linen to be properly placed on a closet shelf was not something that transferred from my mother’s skill set into my own.

 

Last night when my sweet boy was wracked with illness and I held him and kissed his sweaty brow and rocked him and rubbed his back,  I sang to him and gently put him back to sleep. Neat sheets were low on the priority list last night.

 

In addition to her skills with hospital corners and fitted sheets, my Mother also taught me about nurturing a sick child in the night. I remember being very young and getting horrible ear infections and sore throats. One of my earliest memories (probably the same age as my son), is of her, rocking me in the wee hours of the morning in the creaky old rocker, while singing “Bye-O" to me (our family lullaby). My Mom sings off key and always has, but I remember as a child thinking her voice was like an angel’s. I can almost picture this night in my mind’s eye, it is one of my very earliest memories.

 

I'm quite certain the skill of folding a fitted sheet pales in comparison to the most important lessons she taught me that night almost 40 years ago. Thank you Mom for all the life skills you taught me, but most of all thank you for teaching me through example that my children are worth sacrificing for, staying up for, and staying home for. I know through watching you that Motherhood is a noble and worthy calling and the best choice for my life. Happy Mother's Day!

Survive or thrive?

(Image found here http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/1200x/62/60/c6/6260c6ee2511fac22e73fc06e8c6fcd4.jpg)

I remember going to my first power of moms retreat and April Perry talking  about not just surviving but thriving in this journey of motherhood. That really resonated with me because I had already years before decided that I do not want to spend a good chunk of my life in survival mode. I've been doing this parenting thing for 15 years and have at least that long until my youngest leaves home. That's 30 years that I don't want to white knuckle it through life, but I want to thrive and become who I am supposed to become. I want my kids to know that I loved life and adored being their Mom, that I was always trying to learn and grow and be better. My Mom is such a great example of always learning, growing and bettering herself.  Of course there are days that I white knuckle it and barely get through but I don't want that to be my life.  It's about making a conscious choice to love this life I've chosen and that has been given to me. It's about waking up every morning and to start out with the question, "What is this day going to bring and what am I going to get out of it? What am I going to learn and what adventure are we going to have? I am going to be an amazing Mom and person today!" 

This wasn't always the case. I remember some days waking up and sort of dreading getting out of bed, I remember even occasionally vocalizing that I hated my life. I had sort of let life happen to me and hadn't made the choice to choose happiness and deliberately make my life happy. It's not about circumstance, it's about mindset. I for sure still have days where I have a hard time getting out of bed and where I feel down, but those are much fewer and farther between than they used to be because I have made the choice to intentionally be happy no matter what. 

So what is your choice?