Saturday, October 26, 2013

Healthy, wealthy and wise....or not

Healthy, wealthy and wise…..3 great goals to strive for right?  Are these necessary qualities that an intentional, deliberate Mother must have? ABSOLUTELY, or so I thought for a time.  Certainly health is a must, to have energy and to have the strength to do activities with your children.  Wealth (or at least being financially comfortable) is necessary so you can take your children to do fun things and go on fun vacations etc. etc….  Wisdom is constantly evolving and comes through experience and continues developing throughout life.

Health.  My health has ebbed and flowed for years.  I have had short times where I felt great and healthy and had energy.  But most of the time for the last several years I have not felt good for the most part.  I struggle to have the energy I would like.  I envy those who seem to have boundless energy and accomplish more in a day than I do in a week.  It affects my family for sure.  Most days I need a nap and many times when my husband gets home I go “off shift” and turn the rest of the night over to him.  It has been very frustrating at times.

Wealth, or financial comfort.  Financial security has been elusive in our lives.  We have worked hard to get out of debt, we have worked hard to save money, but something always comes up and we never seem to get ahead.  I can’t complain, my husband has had a steady job even through the recession which is more than many people I know.  We have food on the table, a wonderful home and all the basic necessities.  But extra money to go to Disneyland or even going somewhere as simple as the pumpkin patch hasn’t been there most of the time.  Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for what we have and for my healthy, happy 5 children and wonderful, hardworking husband.

You know….sometimes the “web” is not our friend.  I read blogs, look at Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook and get discouraged.  I see all of these Moms doing amazing things with their kids that I don’t have the energy or money do to.  It can be disheartening. It seems sometimes that to be an awesome, involved Mom you have to be practically perfect in every way and able to do all these amazing crafts, be athletic with your kids and go on regular exotic vacations.

That is not the case I have gratefully discovered.  You don’t have to have to be practically perfect to be a deliberate Mom.  You can be quite flawed and not have the ideal life situation and your kids will still think you are amazing. Each of us has our own situation, our own challenges and our own gifts we have been given to be the best Mom to our kids.  I may not have the energy to do a triathlon with my kids, but I can sit outside and watch them ride bikes, watch their soccer games and cheer them on. I can sit on the couch when I’m not feeling well and read them books and do puzzles and have tickle wars.

I may not have the money to go on a lot of vacations, but we can have a “staycation” at home where we sleep in the tent outside, roast hot dogs in the backyard and tell shadow puppet stories in the tent. We can have picnics at the park, we can play board games on the weekend and can have dart gun wars in the house. 

In fact being a great Mom has practically nothing to do with money and health.  It has to do with TIME, consistency and being a present force in your child's life. It means looking in their eyes and taking time to listen to them.  It means having a stable, loving home.  It means teaching them and disciplining them with love.  None of that needs money or perfect health.

One of my favorite Power of Moms essays is by April Perry and is entitled “Your children want YOU”.  They still want you even if you have health problems and no money.  They still want you even if you lose your temper and need a “time out”.  They still want you even if you aren’t practically perfect.  So dive into motherhood in spite of your hard situation make those memories and forget about your weaknesses, chances are your kids already have!

I cried during this video…it should be required to view regularly for all Mothers.  It’s a reminder that our kids give us the benefit of the doubt and love us for who we are, not for who WE think we should be. 

1 comment:

Kathleen said...

Oh my, that video made me cry. We are so hard on ourselves, aren't we?
Love this post and yes, it is the time we spend with them that they love, not what we are doing or how much we're spending. My girls recently asked me to take them for manicures. We did them at home and they LOVED it because I did it for them and they had me all to themselves.
Love the new look here too! Have a great week, Cheryl.