Saturday, February 7, 2015

Shades of Grey

I am taking a stand.  I am putting my very strong opinions out there and they may not be popular with the masses, but I am not concerned about being popular.  I am concerned with what is right and what is wrong and protecting my family.

Our world today lives in shades of gray.  Absolute right and wrong is dismissed as being judgemental and intolerant.  As I have gotten older I know that life isn't always black and white and sometimes grey areas exist. So many social issues are polarizing and divisive.  Pornography is one of those that many see as a shade of grey.  In many circles it is accepted as normal and acceptable.  My circle is not one of those.  My family has been affected by pornography. My strong stand  is that any form of pornography (and I include not only hard core porn but also things like the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue as porn) is unacceptable.  It is addictive and can destroy marriages and damages so many, it absolutely ruins our young children's perceptions of what a healthy relationship is, it desensitizes those who watch it so they need to find more hard core material to satisfy their addictions. Not to mention it degrades and dehumanizes women and fuels the sex trafficking trade.

I am sure you have heard of the movie 50 Shades of Grey coming out on Valentine's weekend.   It is being marketed as a romance. It depicts a young, introverted, innocent woman who meets an older, rich, powerful sexy man.  They develop a relationship mostly sexual in nature.  I won't go into detail because I want my children to be able to read my blog and I don't need to share specifics.  The relationship is not a healthy one, Christian Gray coerces, manipulates and controls Ana to the point of emotional and sexual abuse.  I am not the only one who thinks this, there are many psychologists and feminists who also believe the same way (I will provide links to articles at the end of the post). 

When the book first came out I got a free sample of a chapter on my kindle.  Having never heard of the books I read a few paragraphs of it until I couldn't stand anymore. The writing was absolutely awful and the sexual content was so graphic it made me sick. 

The other day I was in line and had two teenage girls behind me.  They started discussing the books and how sexy Christian Grey was. They both stated how they wanted a man like him.  Again I got sick to my stomach and turned around, I planned to say something to them but when I did I realized their Mom was standing there as well and heard the whole thing. She said nothing. I was in shock.

It frightens me that a movie that barely dodged an NC-17 rating is mainstream. It is pornography plain and simple playing right in regular movie theatres. Teens will see this movie, young adults will see this movie. What is it teaching them about relationships? Why is this okay??  It isn't a shade of grey, this is a black and white issue and it is wrong. 

I guess the questions should be, would you want your daughter in a relationship with a man like this? Would you want your son to become a man like this? I would think most would say no. 

We must take a stand, here is a petition to sign against the movie. Boycott it next weekend, encourage others to do so as well. Instead give $50 to a battered women's shelter

Here are a few articles regarding the movie:


Kathleen said...

Amen, Cheryl!
Thanks for writing about it. Going to check out your links now.

Sabrina said...

Sorry I can't agree with you on this topic.

Out of question: The book is awful. It is written in a language that makes my toenails turn upside down.
The protagonist is even worse. While I read the book I've always been like "Girl! What is wrong with you?! Put on a little self esteem!"

So I agree: this book is crap and I have no interest at all watching the movie.

But I disagree when it comes to banning literature or art under the disguise of "protecting" the children.
Why not talk with the children instead? make this book a topic at the dinner table. Talk about healthy relationships where power is equally spread, talk about the difference between what is shown as sexuality on the media and what is real sexuality or a real relationship.

Maybe I overgeneralize but I think it is a quite Christian-American way to simply deny things that aren't appropriate for a Christian gospel.
if we simplay forbid drugs / sex outside a relationship / protection for teenagers and don't ever talk about it, it isn't there. Ha!

But it is there. And it needs to be addressed in order to create an environment of elucidation.

Those teenage girls you overheard talking about the book or the movie will watch the movie anyway, even if their parents forbid it. But parents or teachers can provide them with certain tools to question the message of the book.
But therefore communication is required.