On Sunday my oldest son (pictured above, he was about 18 months) turns 14. I think it's fitting his birthday falls on Mother's Day since he is the one who made me a Mother. He is all sorts of awesome. He is funny, smart, talented, sensitive to spiritual things as well as to his Mother, he is a fantastic, responsible older brother and loves his little siblings to pieces. I am so fortunate to be his Mother, I have learned more from him than he has from me I am certain of it.
He has been very excited about his birthday and anxious for presents. He doesn't ask for much, we are lucky that way. He is pretty happy with whatever we get for him. He has been asking me however, "Mom what do YOU want for Mother's Day?"
It has got me thinking what do I really want? Another trip to Kauai, now that would be nice for sure but it won't happen for many more years :). But I don't need or want anything they can buy me at stores. I want to spend TIME as a family, I want to go out to breakfast, I want to go hiking or play at the park, I want to go to a movie together. I want homemade cards and letters, I want tissue paper flowers and frames made from popsicle sticks. I want fresh flowers to brighten my spirits. I want kind, obedient children. I want them to be hard working and happy. I want them to reach their full potential, I want them to find someone to marry who is as good to them as their Dad is to me. I want them to have children so they can learn the lessons and feel the joy that can only come from being a parent.
Maybe I've grown up but I think finally the lessons of Motherhood have sunk in. Motherhood is about finding JOY in the journey. Yes it's mundane on a regular basis, yes it's exhausting and draining and the hardest thing I have ever done But it is the hardest JOY I've ever experienced. . I recently read an article where the author said she hasn't EVER had an easy day as a Mother, she has had GREAT days but never easy days. IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE EASY! If it were easy it wouldn't be a refining tool.It is refining me and teaching me and is helping me become the person that God wants me to be. I have become more charitable and loving, I have become more selfless, I have become more flexible, I have become more confident in my abilities, I have become funnier, I have laughed more and cried more than I even thought possible.
What do you really want? What do you want from Motherhood? Do you want to just survive or do you want to THRIVE? It is possible to thrive while in the midst of diapers, messes and chaos. If you want that how are you going to get there??
P.S. For you for Mother's Day...Here is one of my very favorite articles about Motherhood by one of my favorite authors April Perry