Remember this post? Well here's the big reveal as to what the decision was we were trying to make. Our 3rd son went to kindergarten last year and did fine, but didn't necessarily thrive. I thought for certain this summer would bring big changes for him in maturity, academics etc...
Well those changes didn't happen to the extent I was hoping for. He is a young buck for school, his birthday is in June. So starting in about July I started thinking of having him repeat kindergarten. Basically the shortened version of a very long story is that he is going to repeat kindergarten to give himself another year under his belt and to feel successful and confident in school and in himself.
I am certain this is the right decision for him...however it has not been an easy road. Many educators do not feel that retention is beneficial, in fact many feel it is a detriment (and whether it is a detriment to the child or to the school's numbers/budget is debateable in my mind). I am his mother and I know what is best for him and believe me my "Mrs Weasley" or "Mama Bear" had to come out in a big way this week (along with some tears and some VERY direct conversations and emails from this girl who HATES conflict and is a people pleaser). This process has felt as if it was one brick wall after another in front of us. But just because this wasn't easy, doesn't mean it wasn't the right decision....it took persistence and sticking to what I KNEW to be right in order for it to happen. We as Moms HAVE to be our child's biggest advocate and cheerleader. We have to push for what is best for them even if it isn't popular or looked upon positively by the so called experts. WE are the experts on our children and we must be there for them to be as successful as they possibly can be. We must build them up in such a way that they feel they can overcome anything because they know their Mom has their back. We must teach them..."You is kind, you is smart, you is important" (my favorite quote from "The Help" in case you haven't read or seen the move...do it!) and if they believe that and know their Mother believes it they can conquer anything! My husband was also very involved in this process, I want to give him credit as well as he is on board with this and was awesome in helping make this happen!
Call it my Mother's intuition, call it the Holy Spirit (one and the same if you ask me) but I have rarely been so certain about something in my life regarding one of my children. It has been a learning process for sure. Just because something isn't easy doesn't mean it isn't right. Just because brick walls seem to be popping up at every turn doesn't mean you don't break them down and plow forward. This is a lesson I need to remember for many other things in my life that I am sure will not be easy...but will still be right regardless of the difficulty!
5 comments:
I am glad you fought for it. I have had 2-4 kids in every class, mostly boys, who were June-Sept. birthdays who probably would have been better off if they had waited. It has been a battle at our school as well since the whole anti-retention push has come. It is a national thing, not just here. I also don't think it is just about numbers in the school. The retention issue is more about special ed though. There were soooo many special ed kids getting retained, often more than once, and it wasn't helping them. We had a 9 year old that came to us in first grade. I have been told all the research proves retention doesn't help and isn't beneficial. But I TOO have questioned when it is an age/maturity issue. Because I have had so many students who struggle who are the babies of the class. I have seen 2 kids though were were August kids who did repeat 2nd grade who did so great and went from struggling and hating school to being happy. It is so much better to do it now while he is so young than in 2nd grade. And you knew this and followed your heart and the spirit! SO YEAH!!! I am glad you won the fight!
That's impressive that you made the hard decision that was best for your son. Heather has a June birthday and she repeated Kindergarten too. It's been the best decision we've ever made. :)
P.S. I love that quote from "The Help". I thought the movie was even better than the book.
good.for.you.!
oh bummer! I wrote a big long post that didn't go up ... Booh! And then I actually almost lost this comment as well -- what the heck is wrong with me this morning?!
I'm impressed with you -- it's hard to speak up, although it's easier when my kidlets are involved. I think we're doing such a disservice to the children to move them on when they are emotionally and/or academically not ready.
Cheryl--best decision you could have made. We did the same with two of our three children who were born in December! They got in earlier as the deadline overseas with DOD was the end of December. But when we returned to VA we held daughter back in 4th grade and had son begin in Kindergarten (even though he had kindergarten overseas). They have thrived and did so much better at the top 1/2 of the class instead of the bottom 1/2. Good for you 'Mama Bear'.
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